Showing posts with label journal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journal. Show all posts

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Happy Autumn!

Last Autumn when Lydia was 8 months old, now she is 18 months old!!

"Life starts all over again 
when it gets crisp in the fall."
                       -F. Scott Fitzgerald 
For as long as I can remember autumn has always been my favorite season, and I'm pretty proud of being born around this time of year! I love when the weather slowly begins to cool down and the leaves start changing shades of color. The smell of the air is crisp, and cinnamon sugar becomes the signature scent of my home. Everything just feels cozier. I'll be able to start wearing my fall uniform: a chunky sweater or flannel, jeans and boots. I cannot wait til I can wear boots again!! Food seems to taste better this time of year too. Winter squashes are at their peak, and boy do they taste mighty fine roasted, sprinkled with pumpkin seeds and served over kale. I also like pumpkin pie, pumpkin oatmeal, and pumpkin smoothies heavy on the spices.

There's a lot to love about this season. It seems to always inspire people to get together more whether it's to watch football (not me, I'm just there for the food), go to harvest festivals, host seasonal parties, go apple picking, etc. There's really no solid reason not to fellowship with your people when autumn is here! I am most looking forward to starting traditions with my family. I think Lydia will love jumping in freshly raked leaves, going to our towns harvest festival and helping me bake lots of delicious treats in the kitchen.

What are you most looking forward to this autumn? 




Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Changing my perspective of time...


I am generally a creative person. I am passionate about cooking, trying new recipes, writing and often dabbling into photography. I would definitely say I am at my happiest when I have the time to do those things. It's funny because I thought being a stay-at-home mom would grant me the free time necessary to create and quickly learned that was not the case! Don't get me wrong being a wife and mom is the most fulfilling experience in the world for me, it's just when I don't always get a chance to create it makes me a little sad and moodier. 

Some days that special time I have to create comes easier and other days my time is limited. I'm actually thanking God as I type this because Lydia is playing by herself and not demanding me to pick her up! A big turn around indeed. I was dealing with a needy chub over the last couple of weeks, and by the time she would go down for a nap, I'd have to prepare dinner or was too exhausted to tap into creativity which made me feel discouraged. However it helps when I remind myself that I'm doing a good thing by placing my family first and my passions second. No I can't do everything all at once, but I can do everything I desire to do in increments. Having this perspective has really changed my attitude when my time is limited and it is key in surviving the epic burn outs that come from being a stay-at-home mom!

As a Christian, I depend on Christ for everything, including my time and without Him I doubt my perspective would be positive when I'm burnt out. Through Him I am a more patient, industrious and kind woman, He even gives me a peace of mind when time isn't by my side. I am learning that I have to pray for myself to find that special time and wholeheartedly trust that God will open a window for me. I am also learning as a wife, it's okay to ask for help when I'm feeling exhausted and that I'm not being selfish if I ask for alone time to create. It's what makes me a happier wife and mom after all. The scripture above is one that I'm holding onto when I am feeling especially burnt out. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He guards all his bones; Not one of them is broken.” -Psalm 34:17-20 

I have to say I feel a lot better writing what’s been on my mind lately, and I am slowly working myself back into writing more content!



Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Lydia Lately {7.12.2016}


"Though she be but little, she is fierce!” -William Shakespeare 

In a few short days Lydia will be sixteen months old. Her imagination is so big, her love for her family is strong, she's independent and she finds joy in the little things,  all traits that I truly admire! Through this journey of motherhood I am constantly learning how to prioritize my time, be more present and not sweat the small stuff. Motherhood is challenging and just when I think I got everything under control something new proves me wrong, and that my friends is humbling! I'm understanding that it's impossible to be in control of everything and that some days will be more exhausting than others. Though knowing that God's in control keeps me grounded and the encouragement from friends and family who remind me that I'm doing a good work as a wife and mommy does too.

But enough about me-- here's what Lydia's been up to lately:

-she is in the 2% for weight and 7% for height but the doctor isn't concerned because Michael and I are shorties! 
-she's talking on the phone with random objects like my old credit card!
-she's waving to people a lot more now
-she is blowing kisses and giving cuddles 
-she is saying words like "hi" and "mama" in context! she is still babbling but finds ways to communicate with us through body language. 
-she's eating with utensils 
-her favorite foods are blueberries and cheese, especially the free cheese samples at whole foods!
-she is playing with her dolls and "reading" books
-she's dancing every time she hears a beat! we went to a winery and they had a band playing classic rock music and she was dancing up a storm.
-she's growing another tooth on the bottom!
-she asks us for a cookie after she's finished dinner; she points to the jar and laughs like a maniac! 
-bath time is one of her favorite pass times
-she sleeps in her crib most of the night!!! *hallelujah chorus*  
-Zoe and her have a special kind of love/hate relationship; Lydia yells at her but wants to hug her all at the same time.
-she has a strong temper and had a breakdown the other day because we took away a pen from her. she was literally in rage for 10 minutes! 
-she makes us laugh and keeps our hearts full on a daily basis :)

I love you Chubski!! 


Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Life Lately 3.8.16


I am happy that we are in March, and am hoping for warmer days ahead and trips to the park with Lydia. She still hasn’t been on a swing so it will be fun to see how she enjoys it! They were always my favorite thing to play on in the park as a kid. Swings > Monkey bars. Mainly because I was terrified of them!


Anyway life lately has been good. I have been planning for Lydia’s birthday party and am really having moments of different emotions. I'm not one to openly share my emotions but having a daughter has definitely softened me! I get emotional whenever I see old pictures of her and think about the memories attached to them. I am so grateful to have a phone to capture all those quick moments! Especially in the earlier days. She was so tiny, sleepy and just edible. Yet, I am still falling in love with the little lady she is becoming. She is inquisitive, silly, sharp and my, oh-my, stubborn! She is a little girl who knows what she wants and I pray that as her parents we can lead her towards a path of godliness. 


Back to her birthday party. I originally wanted to do a tea party theme, then I was like hm, no-no, how about a garden theme? But of course I settled on a no theme party because it was really putting a damper on my creative juices, and as soon as I freed myself from a theme I seemed to get a lot more projects accomplished. I did however settle on a color scheme. Pastels! Which have been super easy to find because Easter is just around the corner. There will also be fresh flowers, paper flowers (Michael has been doing a great job with these...), brown paper + twine, handmade banners and of course lots of delicious food, which I'm excited about!!

Anyway, aside from planning Lydia’s party, I’ve been doing my usual chores, exercising, cooking and having a huge desire to prioritize more time on this blog. I recently got a new laptop and have no excuses. It might seem like most of the time I'm placing this blog as an afterthought but it's always on my mind and something I want to make a part of my daily life. I won't complain about how hard it is to find time because I know I can make time  the for things that matter to me, and forgo the least important things. But you know what, as I am typing this I just realized something. Lydia is sleeping and this couldn't be a better opportunity for me. I am less distracted and my mind seems to be at its sharpest. This couldn't be a better first step in the right direction and you get to experience it with me! Now all I need to do is devote time to taking pictures.... :)


Um, let’s see, what else can I tell you about. Oh! Sometime last month, Aria and I started working on the 52 lists project. We got to cover cool topics such as listing our favorite characters in books/movies/shows, where we'd like to see ourselves in ten years and this week is a list of things that we like to do for fun. The author Moorea Seal even created a hashtag (#52listsproject)  that can be used on Instagram to connect with others  also doing the lists! The lists are sectioned in seasons. It is a joy to do because we learn not only about each other but ourselves! I highly recommend it if you’re like me and enjoy reflecting on life but cannot seem to commit to a daily journal. 

And now I’m drawing a bit of a blank, so this the time where I say, see you next time!



Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Lydia Renee { Birth Story }



Lydia Renee was born St. Patrick’s Day in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Her time of birth was 7:29pm and she weighed 6lbs. 13 oz. and measured at 19 ½ inches. Upon gracing us with her presence she gave a little cry and immediately began sucking her little fingers; Lydia was then passed to her mama where she was held closely onto my chest.

my last day being pregnant!
Before this joyous moment, Michael and I endured a long labor that began Monday morning at around 2am. I was just two days shy of my due date and I was awakened to what felt like menstrual cramps, I felt a surge of excitement believing that my body was in the beginning of going into labor. Just to be certain and to gain a little reassurance, I called the midwives’ office and left one of the receptionists a message explaining my symptoms. Not too long after that, I got a phone call from one of the midwives and was told I was in early labor, to rest up and to give them a call when the contractions are five minutes apart.  Michael decided it would be best to take the day off and I began adding last minute toiletries to our hospital bags. To distract ourselves we went to Walmart, Costco and an old time-y candy store in our town that I've wanted to check out since we moved here. We ended up buying lots of chocolates! During these errands, I would feel cramping every fifteen minutes or so, and they would last around 30 seconds.  I was elated and hopeful our daughter Lydia would be here sooner than later!

The cramps had not progressed until much later when Michael and I went to sleep at around midnight. I started to struggle to find comfort and needed to get out of bed. I walked around the house a few laps, went to the bathroom, bounced on my exercise ball and eventually took a shower. Let me tell you, the shower provided the most relief; though, I knew I couldn't stand in there forever. I continued to bounce on the ball which also provided great relief. The cramping began coming closer to together and I began timing them. They were five minutes apart and lasted 1 minute. I woke up Michael and he said we should just go to the hospital, the worst thing they can do is send us home. So we packed our bags, the car seat and got gas, hopeful that we’d return home with Lydia.
The drive to the hospital had been pretty uncomfortable… Michael tried his best by distracting me and bringing up irrelevant conversation. I of course, did not say much in the moment of a contraction! Once we arrived at the hospital, I filled out some paperwork and went into triage where a nurse lectured us that we should have called before coming in. After a few minutes of being lectured, we waited for one of the midwives to check me and determine whether I would be admitted or not. We learned that I was 4 1/2cm and that I would be admitted. Upon waiting for our room, I began feeling overwhelmed by a swirl of emotions making my whole body tremble and enough to stall my labor… I learned during our birthing classes and Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth that sometimes going to the hospital can often build up nervous feelings which can potentially slow down labor; looking back, I believe that’s what happened to me!

After getting admitted into the Labor & Delivery room, I was hooked up onto an IV filled with penicillin (I tested positive for Group B strep).  Michael and I spent a good course of the morning watching TV. Every 45 minutes for 15 minutes a nurse would come in to check the baby and my heart beat. Michael was able to nap, eat breakfast and I tried to sleep in between what became irregular contractions. At around 11am, another midwife started a shift and told me that she would check me in about an hour to see if things were progressing, if not she would give me the option of breaking my waters in effort to help speed things up. An hour passed and she told me that I was only 5cm; so I let her break my waters and she said I was now 6cm.

A couple hours passed and after having my water broken, I was leaking but not at all experiencing the intense contractions I had imagined. One of the nurses let me know that I was not in active labor and I would need Pitocin and probably an epidural. I didn't want either! The midwife came back to see how I was feeling, and said I should go walking for 45 minutes and if things don’t pick up at that point, I would need a small dose Pitocin to get things moving. I remember feeling scared and doubting my ability to get through this without compromising my birth plan. But Michael and I spent the next 45 minutes walking around the ward and by the time we came back I still didn’t feel much change in the contractions.

It came down to me needing the small dose of Pitocin and as hard as that was for me to accept, I am glad I finally was making progress. Within the next hour at around 5pm, I was in active labor and prayed for strength during each contraction; I decided from that point on, I would brave it out and let my body feel each wave of contractions. I told Michael to play some worship music which eased the tension in the room. By the next hour I wasn't talking much and bouncing heavily on the birthing ball. Michael kept reassuring me that I was doing so well and to squeeze his hand if I needed to. One thing I remember being bothersome but necessary was the continuous fetal monitoring that comes with Pitocin; fortunately the nurses were kind enough to let me bounce on the ball while they checked my belly for Lydia’s heart rate.

A new midwife came in while I was bouncing on the ball and told me to call her when I felt the sensation of needing to go to the bathroom; that should be a clear sign that I am ready to push. One of the nurses encouraged me to pee before that time came and I remember needing help walking over to the bathroom but nothing would come out. They then walked me back to the ball and I started to feel that sensation at around 6:25pm. I asked if the midwife could check me and see if I was ready to push. I wasn't. But I was close, she could feel Lydia’s head more now and I was 8cm but my cervix wasn't completely thinned out. She said she’d check back at 7:30pm. I’ll admit I felt a little defeated and didn't think I could hold off that long so I prayed that I could get through the intense urge to push. I managed to hold off a little bit but by 6:50pm or so I couldn't bear the sensations, I needed this child out of me!

I told the nurse I was ready and she said she would let the midwife know. I remember saying to Michael “where is she? How I hope she comes soon… ah, I can’t stand this any longer!” Finally the midwife came into the room and I was told to go on the bed. She checked me and said my cervix was completely thinned out. Hallelujah! I thought to myself with a smile (everyone was shocked I was still smiling at this point) as I battled the contractions that were now overlapping. She gave me a few options of pushing: squatting, lying on my side or on hands and knees. I opted for lying on my side which required me to hold onto my left knee and Michael holding onto my right knee. They turned on bright lights and she told me to inhale through the contraction and to exhale to push. She allowed me to push when I felt necessary and to take a break if I needed it.

I started pushing at 6:59pm. They began to feel Lydia’s head and I was able to feel her too, which motivated me to continue pushing with all my might. It was the most amazing feeling, knowing how close I was to meeting Lydia. This is the part of my labor where I let go and made noises as I pushed. The midwife surprised by how fast things were happening quickly put on her gown and told me that I was going to feel the ring of fire as I pushed her head out of me. AND boy, did it burn like a ring of fire! Instead of fearing the pain much like I thought I would, I just pushed and pushed through the burning sensation; looking back I thought of it as finishing the last rep of a heavy set at the gym, it was all about mind over matter. Once her head was out, I was instructed to slow down so they prepare to catch her and suctioning her mouth. And after her little shoulders were out, she slipped right out! She was born at 7:29pm. I was in awe as I looked at her and then saw how stunned and overwhelmingly joyful Michael’s face had been at that moment. He got to cut her umbilical cord and Lydia was then placed onto my chest where I closely cuddled with her and stared at her amazement, with a huge sense of relief and a good dose of euphoria too. I quickly delivered the afterbirth and they told me that I had a “nice” 2 degree tear and would require stitches; thankfully I was too distracted by Lydia to be afraid of them sewing me up. I allowed Michael to hold her and they weighed her and checked her measurements. I got to breastfeed her for the first time which actually felt more natural than I thought, not unusual at all and while I initially needed assistance from the nurses, I knew at that moment I wanted to be Lydia’s source of food and of course overall comfort.


The stitching procedure took a little over an hour and by the time they were finished repairing me, I was starving! I ate some granola that I brought from home and really wanted something more substantial; I did give birth a couple hours ago after all…  So Michael suggested Jimmy John’s which I had never had before and was excited to try since I hadn't had a sandwich with cold cuts since getting pregnant. I told him to get me whatever he was getting and he brought us roast beef with tomato, a little mayo and lettuce; I may had been famished but man it was possibly the best sandwich I've ever eaten!

Overall my birth story stuck to the heart of my plan. Aside from having my waters broken, getting Pitocin and having continuous monitoring, I feel blessed to have experienced such a life changing event! In more ways than one labor drew me closer to God because it required me to be patient, still and trust in the birthing process He designed my body to go through. I also knew I was in good hands with the midwife and hospital staff, they did an amazing job taking care of me and baby Lydia.

As far as my recovery goes, I am now three weeks postpartum and I’m starting to finally feel myself. The first week was the toughest, as I was uncomfortable and a little overwhelmed. Caring for a newborn and dealing with physical discomfort could have been harder but I am SO thankful Michael had the first two weeks off! He is back at work and last week I had my first day with Lydia all by myself; I managed to prepare Michael and I's dinner, clean the kitchen and bathroom and shower all while she took a nap! It’s the little things that keep us going, am I right? My parents just came on Saturday and are going to be helping us out for the next week and a half; they've been getting much needed family time with us and their first granddaughter Lydia! That's all I have for right now but I'll be posting more Lydia updates and a postpartum update as well. :) 


Friday, February 27, 2015

Pregnancy Update: 37 weeks !


I can’t believe it’s been 8 weeks since I last updated, where the heck does time go? I know my last post was pregnancy related and I’m sorry for the redundancy, I just wanted to do one more update before Lydia is here! Today I am 37 weeks and 2 days, and right now I’m feeling comfortable and at peace with everything that’s been going on with my body. Days tend to drag longer due to discomfort; especially in my hips, pelvis and back. And unfortunately I tested positive for GBS which means I'll need to get antibiotics through an IV during my labor and delivery. I am praying that my water will break after I go into labor, so I can enjoy early labor at home and avoid further medical interventions. People keep asking Michael and I about the nursery, and all I can say is we have a crib, it's assembled and so is the changing table. Painting the room will come later. Our main focus was finishing up our bedroom since Lydia will spend a few months with us in this co-sleeper bassinet; then we will transition her into the smaller bedroom with her crib.

Without further ado, here's the latest!



How far along: 37 weeks!

Gender: Still a girl :) 
Total weight gain:  30+ pounds which was suggested by my midwife. It sounds like a lot but I feel it more in the front (although my mom says I have a big butt now) which explains why I've been getting reoccurring back pain. Ouch!
Maternity Clothes:  Still been wearing the same two maternity jeans and a few shirts; but lately I've been most comfortable in non-maternity joggers, sweat pants and of course leggings!
Sleep: Surprisingly better; yay! Michael finished painting our bedroom and put back all the molding (I’ll post pictures once all our furniture is back!) so we are back in our comfy bed.
Miss Anything: Exercising! I still can manage four days but the exercises are much lower intensity than they were a few weeks ago. I’m listening to my body though and make daily stretching a priority.
Cravings: Right now I could go for a juicy burger right off the grill… I can’t wait until the warm weather. I still love my popcorn, but not so much eggs!
Symptoms: Where do I start? Just kidding, it’s not that bad but I often get pain in my hips, pelvis and a dull feeling in my spine. This artic weather is no help… But other than that things have been A-okay!
Belly Button in or out: It’s still a cinnamon bun!

Mood: Happy.
Best Moment this week: Going to small group yesterday and having a surprise mini baby shower thrown to celebrate baby Lydia! The people in our small group have been such an encouragement to us through this exciting time.  :)
Looking forward to: More childbirth classes! We started a couple weeks ago, and it’s been a fun time of learning and relaxing. And of course Lydia’s arrival! Less than three weeks to go; if she decides to come on time of course…

Exercise:
 Still the same as before but lower intensity. I notice that my body feels better when I spend less time on the intense stuff and more time on stretching so that’s where I am right now.

On My Mind: I guess I’ve been thinking about labor and how everything will go down. I can’t really picture what will happen but pray that it loosely follows my birth plan, that my labor can come together naturally without the need of an induction and that Lydia and I are healthy when everything is happening. It’s all in God’s hands! Spring has been on my mind a lot too. Lydia will be here, the weather will be less evil and I can go for walks with her in the stroller.
That’s all I got. I hope you all enjoy your weekend!

xo, Jessica

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

20 + engaged



Being twenty and engaged may seem unusual for this generation. Why? Maybe because I’ve only graduated high school three years ago or I'm “inexperienced” with life, and am supposed to be finishing up college and receiving my bachelor’s degree next year. This is half true, partially because I am very young but let's be real, everyone has a different way of doing things! I honestly believe I’ve been through different trials these past two years that forced me to grow up, and maybe I’ll go to college when I feel physically and mentally ready. As for getting married at my young age, I feel more ready than I’ve ever been for anything in my life! The man I am marrying on November 2nd of this year has been the answer to all my prayers. He’s my best friend, a lover of Jesus, my better half and the supporter of all my passions and dreams. I feel rather relieved that I didn’t have to date around the world and back to realize that Michael was who the Lord wanted me to be with. In fact he’s the only man I’ve ever dated. I used to always wonder “How do you know if you’re supposed to be with this person forever?” but I believe that the answer really lies in prayer, scripture and from the wisdom of the people who love and know you best.

Speaking of being engaged, I see a few things from a different perspective now. I sometimes like to pretend I’m already married and try to pick up after myself as much as possible. I’m still cooking and baking frequently, but now I try to cook a variety of different tastes and colors; I even tried cooking free-range lamb, which I didn’t eat myself but knew my dad and Michael would enjoy it… And they did! I am also more conscious of how I carry myself and am no longer finding myself lusting [okay maybe not lusting] but daydreaming about the cute sandals from Urban Outfitters *sigh*. I guess it's a good thing that my priorities are now transforming into things that the both of us will benefit from. For example: going to premarital counseling, studying marriage books, saving money for our wedding and so on. We are going to be united this upcoming fall and twenty years old (by then I’ll be 21) or not, I am ready for that. That’s all I am going to say about this subject right now… More unsolicited insight to come!
-Jessica